Why We Must Embrace the Wait
I will be the first person to whole-heartily admit that patience is not yet my strength. When I set my intentions on something, I quickly begin to develop strategies and timelines to obtain it. Yet, the past 2 years of my life (a time period that I personally refer to as a drought season) painfully showed me that no matter how much planning I do, or how hard I work, I simply cannot control how and when I will receive what I want. I fully believe that we can receive all that we want in life, but we must keep in mind that God (the Universe, life, whatever you believe…) delivers on its own time and in its own way. To some that may be a relief, to others it may be frustrating.

Yet, patience allows us to develop in ways that would never occur if we received everything instantly. For starters, the concept and practice of faith would essentially dissolve. There would be no need for faith if you instantly saw results unfolding in front of your eyes. While having nothing but faith may sometimes be scary, there is something heart-grippingly beautiful about accruing a blessing that came without much physical evidence or rationale.

Additionally, waiting allows the development of a more profound appreciation for the desired results. While we may still have gratitude for things that come quickly, it is not nearly comparable to the depth of gratitude we feel for something that took time to build.

Lastly, to go without for an extended period of time teaches/reminds us to be whole and content on our own. In my opinion, a blessed life is a life full of peace without conditions, and peace without conditions can only be attained when you have mastered how to be content in situations of lack.

The length of time spent in various seasons are highly individualistic, inevitable and cannot be controlled. I believe, however, that God’s blessings are like an old Southern lady cooking your Sunday dinner; it may seem to take forever to prepare, but you know it’s going to be good when it comes. We must surrender our narrow-minded expectations and allow God to bring to us what we truly want. I pray that you always remember that no matter how long the wait is, the Creator is always arranging the deliverance of your heart’s desires.

In Love,

Mel

Ask and it is Given.

Far too many believers of God are using the following phrase that I arguably believe is the number one blocker to blessings: “If it doesn’t happen, I guess it’s just not in God’s will”.

How many times have you heard someone say that? How many times have we said that ourselves? I’ve heard people specifically talk about desiring marriage, starting a business, going back to school, etc. as a goal that may only be accomplished if God wills it to be so. My loves, this limiting belief has got to stop.

To misunderstand what God’s will is can lead to a stunted life where dreams remain only in the spiritual realm, never to come to physical fruition.

When we are truly aligned with God, all of our desires and goals are also in alignment. Whether you believe in a Higher Power or not, faith and tenacity alone will take you a pretty long way in life! But for those that are believers, it is a promise that you will have your Godly desires fulfilled. God is not some dictator in the sky that decides what wishes he will and will not grant to his followers. There are countless verses in the Bible teaching that God will give us the desires of our heart.

So what about that time that you applied for the promotion and didn’t get it? Or that girl you admired, but things never worked out with her? Let me explicitly state that God gives us the core of our desires. If it is marriage that you want, then you will have it, but it may not be with the man or woman you envisioned. Too often, we get too specific and attached to what we think is best for us; God knows better and thus gives better. Submitting to God’s will is about allowing Him to plan the details of how and when your core desires will be fulfilled, which will always be in a manner that also benefits others.

Please know that while life has it’s necessary challenges, life with God is rewarding. Line yourself up with the divine spirit, then ask and know that it will be given.

I Covered my Hair for 40 Days

Most of us care for our hair and spend a decent amount of time, money and energy into its health and style. As a black woman, I can attest that the amount of resources spent on hair has many times made me ponder on why I even bother. But beyond the aesthetics, we must not forget how spiritually significant our hair is, and how among almost everything else in life, it can and should be incorporated into our spiritual practice.

It is widely believed that hair is a manifestation and spiritual antenna in which we can receive insight and spiritual connection. To oversimplify, the longer the hair, the more spiritual power. In Christianity, this is most notable through the story of Samson, who received the power of God through his long locks and lost his strength when Delilah instructed someone to cut it off (don’t let anyone leave you broken and hairless y’all).  Within the many spiritual paths, the practice of covering the hair is done for an array of reasons ranging from the focus on God and for spiritual protection in highly active environments. Some women keep their hair covered as a commitment to practice humility, modesty, and prevention of lust.

So why did I decide to keep my hair wrapped for forty days? For starters, I believe in the power of fasting. While fasting is typically centered on the removal of food, it can certainly include other activities that distract us from God. Since styling my hair consumes so much of my time and energy (but not my money though, because I’m too cheap), I decided it was time to cut it out and redirect my time and energy for more inwardly things. Yet, this short experience evolved to be more than I anticipated. The four most notable include:

Empowerment. I felt a much greater sense of my own power as I kept my hair covered.

Authenticity. While my hair is not chemically processed, it is typically covered with weave. With my natural hair “out”, I felt incredibly connected and expressive of my true self. I even gave zero f**ks about how others would respond to the more natural version of me in social and professional environments. That felt great.

Higher Energy. I have been vibrating on a much higher level than I usually do. (I must point out that winter is coming to an end and that the seasonal energy cycle is a real thing.)

Balance. I work full-time, am in graduate school, and attempt to throw myself into other things when I can. So needless to say, I’m pretty busy and usually feel a bit overwhelmed. Yet, I felt a much stronger sense of balance during this 40-day period. About 15 days in, I also began shifting my sleep-wake cycles, which has helped to structure my day better.

As a public health professional, I completely understand that correlation is not causation. I am in no way saying that all of these experiences were a direct or even indirect effect from covering my hair, but am simply noting the changes I experienced during this fasting. Now that the fast is over, I plan to continue this new addition to my constantly evolving journey.

Feel free to share how you spiritually care for your hair in the comment section.

Love,

Mel

The Root of Ambition

The start of January 2017 was a critical turning point in my life. I had just found out that my Peace Corps team in Ethiopia was cancelled, after I had quit my job and moved out of my apartment, mind you. It was such a disappointing loss that I soon came to see as a divine opportunity to re-route my life’s direction.

So I prayed, meditated, made my vision board, and began to write down a new story. I was extremely descriptive with what I wanted my next chapter to be, from the type of job I wanted, the salary, where my apartment would be, etc. And THREE months later, I had received 2 out of the 4 goals that I wrote down! (I declare that the other two goals are still manifesting)

2017 continued to be filled with even more accomplishments, but yet, 2017 was one of my darkest, most painful years that I’ve endured in a while. I felt immense frustration, stress, fear, isolation, and confusion. Since reflecting on everything that happened, God gave me several revelations.

One revelation is that hard work and ambition is only noble when it is rooted in God. I have to confess that many of my strategies and work during this year was not spirit-led, but based in fear and lack of trust in God. Instead of trusting God with my finances, I did what I felt would make me the most financially secure.  Instead of seeking God’s counsel about my education, I operated in a way that left me with the “control”. And because of my decisions, I felt so deeply unfulfilled.

Have you ever worked hard to achieve something, only to realize in the end that it’s not exactly what you wanted?

I believe this is what happens when we pursue what God has not intended for us. As much as we’d love to say that we know ourselves and what we want, ultimately, without constant prayer, stillness, and understanding from God, it is SO easy to get distracted and have our ambitions confused.

Ambition from God involves hard work, but feels like a flow with the river. Ego-based ambition is hard work, but feels as if you are pushing against the tides. Ambition from God gets you out of the bed peacefully each morning. Ambition from the ego wakes you up with a sense of urgency and stress.

From now on, I vow to myself to be more prayerful of my motives and plans. I will work on surrendering my way to whole-heartedly pursue what God considers best, because life experiences have reminded me that this is the only work that fully nourishes my being.

Cheers to another year! I pray that God is with you on whatever you are working towards.

Amen. Ashe. And so it is.

Hauling Lemons
Ever felt like life shut a door in your face right when you were about to walk through it?

Well, that is pretty much how the past year has gone for me. After a series of closed doors, a final glimpse of hope appeared when I felt God directed me to apply for Peace Corps. The process to my acceptance went unusually quickly. Before I knew it, I was saying goodbye to my job, friends, and apartment as I was preparing to move to Ethiopia to work on nutrition issues.

And then I received the phone call, 2 months before my planned departure, that the program was cancelled due to the current unrest in Ethiopia, but that I can be reassigned to another country and project for next year if I choose.

Damn.

I am currently jobless, homeless, and short over a $1000 from medical and legal clearance  for Peace Corps. Talk about a huge lemon that life has thrown at me. But who says lemons have to be a bad thing? Lemons are actually packed with vitamin C, potassium, and a ton of other minerals. Lemons help reduce colds, strengthen the immune system, prevent kidney stones, and perform an array of other functions. They are also aesthetically pleasing, in my opinion.

In other words, when it feels that life has thrown us a lemon (or 100 lemons), try to find a way to not only use it to our benefit, but to see it as a benefit. I have little clue to what I will do now or how the next few months will unfold for me. Yet, I have come to terms with the concept that almost every “bad” experience is actually a catalytic blessing. Every major obstacle and disappointment that we face provides us the opportunity to inwardly or outwardly change and expand, but only if we choose to.

 In love,

Mel